I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
