He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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