does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
