we have officially lost it.
please come you make the beer taste better
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
