Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
