Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
