how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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