we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
