Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
