why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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