Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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