I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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