PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
