What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
