so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
not ubering you a puppy
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize