I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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