At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
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