yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
