Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize