she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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