i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
