i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
he shaved USA in his pubs
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Randomize
