i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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