I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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