i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
