I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
