Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
