Don't you send me to vm
I haven't been this sober since birth.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
