I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
