when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize