don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
