Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
