I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
