That's intense
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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