So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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