17 year olds will be the death of me.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
