YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
