Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
