You're so nebulous sometimes
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
You're a waste of cheezeits
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
