marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
