I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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