and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
