We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
You made out with two different species that night
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
