I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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