What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
