I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
