I never want to see another naked old woman again.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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