Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
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