When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
He shit in the fireplace
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
