Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You need Xanax blowdarts
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
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