your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
