PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize
