He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
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