Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I am mentally ready for anal.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
