so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Dude, where are you?
... whose car?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude