If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
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My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
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HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest