You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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