i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
