im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
