and my herpes radar will keep us safe
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
