she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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