There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
