Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
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So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
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His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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