Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
So much Jack, so little girl.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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