just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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