This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
