Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
