You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize