community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
When did angry sex become our thing?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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